Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize