help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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