My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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