Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.

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(918): I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed. http://tfl.nu/bpmv

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(201): View more from New Jersey

The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.

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(201): The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me. http://tfl.nu/x7ng

Replies (9) Good night (3408) Bad night (599)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!

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(201): yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?! http://tfl.nu/evmd

Replies (28) Good night (3774) Bad night (499) Order T-Shirt
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(907): View more from Alaska

she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.

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(907): she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit. http://tfl.nu/38x3

Replies (31) Good night (638) Bad night (5061) Order T-Shirt
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(757): View more from Virginia

tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?

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(757): tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning? http://tfl.nu/fo3m

Replies (24) Good night (5181) Bad night (959) Order T-Shirt
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(352): View more from Florida

Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.

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(352): Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song. http://tfl.nu/qyok

Replies (22) Good night (3180) Bad night (3135) Order T-Shirt
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(707): View more from California

I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.

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(707): I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday. http://tfl.nu/uhpk

Replies (26) Good night (4276) Bad night (1003) Order T-Shirt
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(720): View more from Colorado

For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)

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(720): For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented) http://tfl.nu/wdah

Replies (10) Good night (3208) Bad night (1355)
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(813): View more from Florida

well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked

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(813): well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked http://tfl.nu/vpbr

Replies (23) Good night (4026) Bad night (1523) Order T-Shirt
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(312): View more from Illinois

That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.

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(312): That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison. http://tfl.nu/qs9j

Replies (22) Good night (1390) Bad night (637) Order T-Shirt
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(318): View more from Louisiana

Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.

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(318): Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head. http://tfl.nu/6vvp

Replies (7) Good night (1986) Bad night (372) Order T-Shirt
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(559): View more from California

She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude

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(559): She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude http://tfl.nu/6q44

Replies (2) Good night (453) Bad night (1757) Order T-Shirt
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(406): View more from Montana

Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.

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(406): Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story. http://tfl.nu/fe6z

Replies (7) Good night (1326) Bad night (179) Order T-Shirt
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(423): View more from Tennessee

I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.

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(423): I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume. http://tfl.nu/wnwb

Replies (1) Good night (374) Bad night (199) Order T-Shirt
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(443): View more from Maryland

Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.

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(443): Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos. http://tfl.nu/iwo5

Replies (8) Good night (1258) Bad night (147) Order T-Shirt

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