Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.