Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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