If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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