Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
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I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
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Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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