Bisexual people are plain selfish.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Im part way to drunk.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
