Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
