Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
