It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
