Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
