The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize