so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
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