So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
