There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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