Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
