dude i'm inner monologue high
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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