I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
How external is "for external use only"?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
