The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
