Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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