Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
