VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
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Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
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Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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