Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
