If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I got inside last night via doggy door
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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