I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
