I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
