You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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