i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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