i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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