her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
