Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
