shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
