u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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