i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
