Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
