Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
