Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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