HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
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if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
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Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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