I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
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should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
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I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize