You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
