Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
you had me at cake vodka
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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