why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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