I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
