She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
