Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
