it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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