Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I'm passing your future prison.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
