she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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