you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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