Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
