Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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