sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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