As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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