1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
