I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
