i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
