My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I currently don't understand fingers.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
