Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
