Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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