Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
