By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
