So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
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I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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