This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
