What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
