But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Dicks are not precious.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
