Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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